Wednesday, July 16, 2008 8:35 AM

Mint Candy News
16 July 2008
213 words
RZ Lim (ice_angel_yuki@hotmail.com)

Headline:
BEAST ROAMED CAMPUS LIKE A HUMAN THIEF

Standfirst:
An unsightly ape was spotted on Ngee Ann campus yesterday, behaving like a human.

The suspicious ONE.

"号外,号外!" The NP suspicious one strucks!

Yesterday, an ape dressed in human clothing (the beast must have modelled after the theory of a wolf in sheep's clothing) roamed around the Ngee Ann campus and carried numerous unknown items, behaving exactly like a human thief, to the amazement of many students!

"Don't! Don't take my picture!" the beast roared in horror when her apparent attempt at stealing and escaping was discovered by a student reporter from FMS, MCM.

It seemed that the beast was having a hard time avoiding the necessary attention from the students around her, especially the tailing reporter.

"Yes! I admit to the crime! I was going to steal something! Can't an ape steal?!" KX, as the ape suggested to be named (how cooperative~), became frantic as the reporter persisted in her questions for the so-worldly ape.

The reporter followed the beast into a lecture theatre, where it started looking under the chairs.

"I was going to steal a pair of ear phones here," the ape explained.

In the end, under a seat in Row D, the beast picked up a black-coloured pair of ear phones.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" KX the ape laughed as it pocketed her steal. The ape then left the theatre with continuous wild laugher.

Till now, the reporter, as well as students who witnessed the trail of the ape, remained bewildered.

* * *

If you know KX the ape, perhaps you can answer some of our questions!
1. Who/What is it?
2. What is the agenda of the beast in Ngee Ann?
3. Why is the beast able to look like a human and speak human language?
4. Why does it perform weird actions and say unusual dialogue?