I've been thinking a lot and planning pretty much ahead these days. Also kept myself super busy with work and gatherings and nothing else. Maybe this is a way of mine to heal the pain? Perhaps.


By now, I have gotten him out of my mind. Definitely not out of my life, 'cause he had hurt me enough to make an impact on how I see the world now. Frankly speaking, I don't look forward to anymore relationships in future. Although I recover increasingly faster each time a failed relationship occurs - it took me two days to forget him this time - my disappointment and fears intensified at the same time as well. I begin to ask myself frequently; "is he for real or what?", or "does he really care?", and many other questions that spoke of suspicion, whenever I meet a new friend. "Unsecured", you can say. Or it might be that I am just paranoid. I have no idea.

All I want - and must - do now, is to get my personal life and studies back on track. I wouldn't say my personal life is in a mess - in fact it's pretty okay - but it doesn't hurt to improve on it. I am glad that I am having more good and trustworthy friends, as well as not-so strained family ties. I am also having a stable and fun job which I like, and a healthy income (as long as I am working the minimum required hours I set for myself each month). And not to forget, an enjoyable, though tiring campus life. In a way, I can say I am happy enough.


Since I have decided to improve on myself, I certainly made plans on how. Next month, once I get my pay coming in, I will be attending a Shiseido make-up course with Kai Ling. At the same time, I will probably sign up for a CC course with Mary. If the interest continues to burn, I will attend a lifestyle / lifeskill course every month. Financial literacy, cooking and baking, self-defence are some of the courses I hope and plan to participate in.

And yes, my language courses. I will continue learning Japanese, and at the end of the year I will take up Japanese Language Proficiency Test (JLPT), till I complete all four levels. I have even made my choice to carry on taking up the language module in the semester level 2.1 (the module is optional for me as I took up Japanese at my own expenses); the language I will possibly choose being either French or Spanish. In any case, I will make sure I know at least five languages by the time I turn twenty-eight (so far, I already learnt three; English, Chinese / Mandarin, and Japanese). Will I be able to do it? But of course. ^^